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Walls and Gates - Part 2
There is no reference to walls and gates in scripture as powerful as the teaching found in the book of Nehemiah. He, Nehemiah, accomplished in 52 days something that no one else could even conceive of for almost 100 years. Rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem was an overwhelming task, and though others had already been attempting to do so prior to Nehemiah gaining permission from King Artaxerxes in 444BC.
The 70 years of captivity had ended around 538 BC when the Israelites began returning to Jerusalem. Opposition though during Cyrus’ reign restricted work on rebuilding the temple until 520 BC. Under the preaching of Haggai and Zechariah, the house of God was rebuilt in 515 BC. This significant rebuild for the Jews to reinstate God’s call on their life to make sacrifices as He had commanded them did not threaten opposition. However, the rebuilding of the walls and the six gates that had been burned was a huge affront to their enemies. This would mean loss of taxes and the potential loss of power to an army that, in the past had decimated and ruled for centuries. It was the walls, not the temple that struck fear into onlookers and kings.
This accounts for why King Artaxerxes would stop the rebuilding at the report from Rehum, a commanding Persian officer two years prior in 464 BC. It also accounts for why Nehemiah was so reluctant to approach the same king two years later regarding his people. Nehemiah took four months after receiving the report from his brother Hanini that Jurusalem was still in ruin.
This was not news, attempts to rebuild had been diverted for 79-80 years since the rebuilding of the temple. What made Nehemiah respond so deeply-so emotionally so that the king took notice of his distress? I believe two things account for Nehemiah’s resolve:
First, I believe he always wanted the walls rebuilt, and for this he was called, but he waited knowing certain emotions around the king were not accepted. He was biding time to win the kings heart as a cupbearer. The fact that he waited four months after receiving the grim report concerning Jerusalem revealed that he was accustomed to waiting on God.
Secondly, prophesy was working through the Holy Spirit. The 70 sevens prophesied in Daniel 9:25 (539 BC.) regarding the reign of Christ was on a time schedule. I’m not saying Nehemiah understood the timing of the prophesy, but was in tune with his Lord enough to know when to make concession, and when to wait.
Do we do this as parents? Waiting for walls and gates to be built would be one of the hardest things for a parent to do. Seeing God rebuild healthy walls around our families, and gates of passage is always an issue of timing. Why? Primarily because relationship walls and gates require more time than do mortar walls or wood gates. I’m not advocating a 95 year wait for family issues to be worked through. I am asking each of us to observe that Nehemiah had already waited for his position as cupbearer to be strengthened, and now he waits four more months in prayer and fasting waiting for the King to take notice and ask. ‘A king asking is quite different than a king being asked’!
Healthy walls and gates are rather subjective within families. With much observation, it appears that childhood memories and the time in life accounts for a significant portion of parental convictions. I had much stronger convictions for my children when they were young, because I had much to learn about gates of freedom and choices for adult children in my home. Nehemiah understood that timing had everything to do with requesting old gates be mended. I wonder if parents seek out the same counsel from God and older wiser Christians when determining walls and gates in their homes?
A closer look at the work that Nehemiah did while waiting for a decision makes me cringe at the quick decisions I have made for our family. Study and learn from Nehemiah:
1. First, he cried out to God admitting the sin of his people stating ‘we’ three times ‘have sinned’ not excluding himself in but acknowledging God’s response to His people breaking covenant.
Our Response as a parent:
Do we admit that we have a part in our children’s failures and decisions? Are we humble about ‘our part’ in this process of healthy walls and gates? Or, are we haughty about our rightness and our children’s need to be more mature than the training we have given them?
2. Second, Nehemiah prayed, and fasted to the point that he waited to act, and waited for the King to ask first. He did not push the need for walls and gates to be built today.
Our Response as a parent:
Do we pray and fast and wait for walls to be rebuilt? Do we wait for God to answer and give wisdom to our situation, or do we plunge headlong not fearing a wrong decision, because our decisions are the final word without regard for our accountability to God?
3. Third, Nehemiah knew he was tackling a wall that had been attempted to be rebuilt by others for almost 100 years. This caused him to think before acting. He had already thought through his request before the King gave him a listening ear. He knew he needed special time allotments, letters for passage, and permission to access lumber from the forest. He even kept his plan to a chosen few until he inspected the gates in private (at night), wanting to have a plan from God before giving leadership.
- Our Response as a parent:
Do we recognize that other parents have struggled before us and have insights to learn from? Do we do the hard work to ask questions and listen to our adult children before making decisions? Do we inspect the walls (make sure our information is correct) before we enact punishments or lock gates that should potentially be opened?
4. Lastly, Nehemiah was not surprised that as soon as he arrived at Jerusalem there was opposition. Satan was watching, this was his default web page. He wanted to stop the rebuilding of the temple, but even more, the walls and gates that protected the temple and the people committed to God.
Our Response as a parent:
Do we anticipate Satan’s plans to destroy walls and burn healthy gates? Do we recognize that our children’s temples/hearts are at stake? Does our parenting resort more to traditions we grew up with, or a healthy view of biblical walls and gates in young adult’s lives?
For example, men are reminded throughout scripture to read the word to their wives and children daily, to wash them with it, to train them with God’s wisdom and love contained therein. In light of these clear instructions, and seeking healthy walls and gates with our daily schedules, should Christian families watch TV?
There are whole books about this. The best one in my opinion is written by a Jewish man (Jerry Mander) “The Four Reasons to Eliminate TV”. After reading this book I banished the TV entirerly from our home. We had to roll in the ancient thing on wheels in order to view a purchased video. We did this for seven years. We were very proud of our testimony to others (as are most people who don’t watch TV).
While this regiment helped us to not place ‘any defiled thing before our eyes’, it did little to ensure our time in the Word, or enjoy a relaxing time of entertainment with our children. Now raising our younger six children I see the emphases on time in the Word first and then freedom for entertainment that does not defile the eyes and heart.
Walls and Gates in Each Family
As mentioned before, the teaching in Hebrews 12 applies to more wall building than most teachers like myself want to admit. If a man discipline ‘as it seems best to him’, how much freedom does he have in that discipline? There are several factors which must be evaluated first, since all liberties come at God’s discretion based on His view of our sanctification process.
Please track with me. How does God choose to make some richer, and others struggle in the heat all day to barely make ends meet? Why does God chose to take some children home through death and not others, or give special children to some and not others. The list of unfair choices from our point of view is endless. Yet God is dedicated to our holiness, our growth, our maturity in this life.
Why then does He mention that discipline is a matter of choice according to what a man deems best? That’s a fairly wide open door―isn’t it? The first thing one learns in hermeneutics is that all scripture must be interpreted in light of other scripture. Therefore, a man wanting to exercise discipline in a way that seems right to him, must first be subject to the rest of God’s commands, and give account for why he chooses certain walls and gates based on Scripture. It can’t be tradition, opinion, or even history or culture alone. It must be thought through, with him and his wife as wise counsel, and others in the city gate giving their advice as well according to scripture. These are not suggestions, they all must fall under some clear teaching in scripture.
Add to these that that man must be adhering to the standards of many teachings regarding providing for his family, loving his wife as Christ loves the church, not provoking his children to wrath, being slow to speak, slow to wrath, being generous with others, and speaking with his enemies in the gates (according to the great chapter for men in Psalms 112.
When this man is accountable for all these and more before the Lord he is given the liberty to discipline as it seems right to him. It conveys the same truth that if we delight ourselves in God, He is then free to give us the desires of our heart. You could call it a catch 22. Man calls it checks and balances. God calls it love and mercy. He can call it love, because He would never give us freedoms which would either go against truth or embarrass us, our children, or more importantly Him. He wants our freedoms to bring glory to Him always. This is always our guidepost in the relationships of erecting walls and gates!
Go to Part 3
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